Ash Wednesday 2018

Yesterday I re-shared this piece I wrote for Seedbed a couple of years ago. I haven’t written like I want to in some time, and there is a danger in writing something that pleases you too easily, but this was one darling I didn’t want to kill¹. I didn’t and I’m glad.

Re-reading the piece made me consider how much more I think about death than I used to. I know this may sound silly to some, but I was 39 when I wrote that. I’m 41 now and I have to admit that the mythical tipping point which shoved me over-the-hill, my 40th birthday last year, has led me to consider my mortality a lot more than I used to. Last November, when my family was in Dallas for a couple of days, I fell asleep to the reassuring thought that it might be a day or two before anyone came upon my carcass if I died in my sleep that night. The thing is, I’m not in great shape and I’m not a healthy eater. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that I could die of a heart attack in the middle of the night and no one would know until I didn’t show up for church. Every slight internal discomfort makes me weigh whether or not I’m going to live to see 42. It’s terrifying. I’m not afraid of death, but the imagined pain my family would suffer, especially my daughter, is almost unbearable.

Secretly, though, I’m really more sad about what I would miss. I know that sounds selfish, but I want to see her graduate as many times as she wants to. I want to see her get married if that’s in the cards for her. I want to cheerlead and dance and yell for joy when things go well for her. I want to be there when life sucks and know she’ll talk to me about it because she trusts me and because she has it drilled into her brain, “There’s nothing you could ever do that would ever make me love you any less.”² Yes, I feel good when life goes well for her. It’s not that feeling I would miss, though. It’s her. I love her more than I love even myself.

That’s my prayer for Lent. I don’t know if I’ll give up anything or take up anything, but what I really want is to love Jesus more than I love myself. I want his love for me to purify my heart and my affections so that I love God and other people more than I love myself. That’s all. Funny enough, that’s what my theological tradition³ calls it’s most important focus. All I want is to get as close to our Triune Creator as possible. Can I do it through fasting? Probably. What about a dozen other things? Yes.⁴ Which brings me back to earlier - there’s only one thing standing between me and intimacy with God. Me. Living, breathing, kicking, and screaming me. That guy has to die. Hopefully not in bed when the family is gone, but before our crucified Lord on a tear-stained rug. Here’s to Lent 2018.

1. A quote attributed to William Faulkner goes, “In writing, you must kill all your darlings.” ↩︎
2. I don’t know where I read this. It’s been a few years. But my kid knows that my love for her doesn’t depend on anything except the fact that she’s mine. One of the few bright choices I’ve made. ↩︎
3. And the Bible, pal. And before I get comments, just remember that Wesley said he was only interested in “plain Scriptural Christianity.” He called it Methodism. ↩︎
4. Go read this book and practice reminding yourself that the means of grace aren’t about earning grace, they are means to experiencing grace. Hence the name… ↩︎

Back in the Saddle

I arrived on campus at Asbury Seminary on Sunday night to begin a new chapter in life and ministry as a Beeson Pastor. I will be on campus for a total of twenty-six days which is a very long time to be away from my family, but they have blessed me by sending me here and I'm deeply grateful.

The first couple of days have been primarily reorienting myself with Asbury. I graduated in 2003 with my Master of Divinity and have returned twice for Asbury's Ministry conference in 2004 and 2006. So, it's been six years since I've been on campus and while many changes have taken place it still feels like my spiritual home. This morning, my fellow pastors and I took part in a chapel service in the Beeson Center. I got to pray for my church and my family with a couple of other people and it was electric - just as I'd remembered feeling while a student here many years ago! I'm really looking forward to more opportunities like that in the weeks to come.

Over the next couple of days, aside from my classes, I'm going to get a chance to visit the new Ministry Center at the Francis Asbury Society, visit with one of my favorite professors and people of all time, and I have the privilege of serving as the Celebrant at a communion service here on campus. I can't tell you what that means to me. I have relished the opportunity to come back and serve my school in this way as an elder. Asbury invested so much in the fulfillment of my calling I feel like it's a small way of saying, "Thank you."

I'm going to continue to post updates as the days pass. I hope you will pray for me and my family!

Creeds and Confessions

Add this to my list of reasons for why I am thrilled to have Tim Tennent as the president of Asbury Theological Seminary. Admittedly, I haven't done any thinking at all regarding the use of creeds, confessions, and affirmations in worship. When I arrived at my current appointment four years ago, the church did not employ creeds, confessions, or affirmations but I wanted to make sure we did in our traditional worship service. I started a rotation that would begin at UMH 800 - the Nicene Creed and would go to UMH 889 - Affirmation from I Timothy 2:5-6; 1:15; 3:16. My rotation skips the Statement of Faith of the United Church of Canada and The World Methodist Social Affirmation. Dr. Tennent has made me rethink my pattern.

I'll add that the most important thing that this post has illuminated for me is how uncritically I've led worship and planned the elements of worship. I mean, for crying out loud, I've not even noticed that the Confession from the Korean Methodist Church or the Modern Affirmation lack statements about the crucifixion and resurrection! I've been saying these creeds since I was a kid and they don't mention the two most important pieces of the gospel proclamation.

Thanks, Dr. Tennent, for helping me to pay attention.

Good Friday

I got all my stuff migrated over to Hover and Squarespace this morning and am loving the new setup. Great companies.

It is Good Friday and, as someone wrote on Twitter, the entire state of Arkansas is talking about a sin instead of the Savior who came to free us from the penalty and power of sin in our lives. May we all look to Christ for our forgiveness and salvation.

For today, it really would be worth your time and attention to read this wonderfully written account of the crucifixion from the perspective of the centurion who said, "Truly, this is the Son of God." It was written by a seminary classmate and is creative and moving.

Sunday's coming!

Separation of Church and Property

Falls Church, by the numbers

This is one of the most interesting stories I've read this week. Get Religion is a great site and I highly recommend it. It's especially important for us United Methodists to understand how these rulings play out given the events in Ohio during the last couple of years and the specter of a church split that's been hovering over General Conference ever since the "amicable separation" was brought up eight years ago.

Indeed

I have a bit of a Mike Breen man-crush at the moment. I've begun to read Building a Discipling Culture (Kindle Version) and read this very early on:

The problem is that most of us have been educated and trained to build, serve and lead the organization of the church. Most of us have actually never been trained to make disciples. Seminary degrees, church classes and training seminars teach us to grow our volunteer base, form system and organizational structures or preach sermons on Sunday mornings and assimilate newcomers from the Sunday service. As we look around as Christendom is crumbling and the landscape of the church is forever changed, a stark revelation emerges: Most of us have been trained and educated for a world that no longer exists.

However, the call to make disciples still remains. It never wavers and never changes.

Breen, Mike (2011-08-16). Building a Discipling Culture (Kindle Locations 94-99). 3DM. Kindle Edition.

(Emphasis mine) I bear the marks of that kind of education as I try to lead and make disciples within the church I lead and the community in which I live. Seminary was great but one thing I've noticed about post-seminary life (I graduated 9 years ago) is that putting all the pieces together is up to me and there were several classes that I took that were out of date as soon as class was over (not to mention dreadful for an introvert like me. Walk up to three random strangers to talk to them about Jesus for an evangelism class? Ugh).

Churches and denominations shouldn't require a Master of Divinity anymore. If they're going to require a masters level education at all it ought to be more like a Master of Missiology. How else are we going to make disciples in an ever-changing world?

How Artists Do Theology

How Artists Do Theology

Written by a seminary classmate of mine. Out of my own neurosis which has grown out of C.S. Lewis' An Experiment in Criticism I've not paid much attention to the visual arts (those of you who have read the book will understand) but this wonderful post gives me a desire to give this kind of art a shot.

Maybe I'll go do some theological thinking at Crystal Bridges.

Glorious Relief

I've always scored a very strong "I" in the Meyers-Briggs Inventory which means I am an introvert. My wife has never been able to understand why I was never embarrassed to eat alone in a restaurant or go to the movies by myself. Most of the time, I prefer to read a book over going out with other people. When I attended the Acts 29 Bootcamp in Dallas last March, Matt Chandler directed us to pray together in groups of 3 or 4. I immediately dropped my head in prayer and hoped no one would ask me to join them. When I attended our conference's Connected in Christ program for a total of four weeks over two years, I always went to my room as soon as evening worship was over rather than hanging out with the rest of the group.

I've been called anti-social but, thankfully, Susan Cain has pointed out that I'm "differently social" and so are all the other introverts in the world and the church. I just picked up Cain's book Quiet and am looking forward to reading the rest of it.

If you're interested in reading a little bit more about introverts, check out this post by Alastair Roberts. He is a very sharp thinker and shares a bit about his own life of introversion as well.

I for one look forward to one day meeting Alastair so that we can shake hands and then read quietly together.

What Would Help My Marriage?

Last week was a crazy one in terms of marriage and sex talk by famous pastors. Ed Stetzer did his usual excellent analysis on the information that came out and you can read that here. (I love Ed. He's one of those rare helpful people who wants to help churches of just about any denomination get better at the Great Commission - including Methodists like me. Thank you, Ed, for your kingdom focus!) I don't want to comment on everything in the post, just something that stuck out to me about pastor Ed Young's upcoming bed-in.

The bed-in is supposed to draw attention to Ed and his wife Lisa's new book Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse. I've not read the book yet. I might not because, believe it or not, I feel a little over-sexed by the culture both inside and outside the church. My wife and I enjoy each other and feel practically no inhibition in our bedroom. I'd say that some of the safest and carefree times of our relationship together are when we, to borrow a phrase from Tommy Nelson's Song of Solomon series, renew our marriage covenant. When I look at our relationship and think about deepening our intimacy, sex isn't where we need the most work.

Are we the odd couple within American Christian churches?

What would really deepen our intimacy with one another?

I know the answer to that and I want to trot this thought out there for people who might be thinking, "You know, sex really isn't our problem." Let me entice you to read a blog post that I'm about to link by providing a snippet from a comment left at that particular blog: "I will say that few things make me feel more loved and cared for by my husband than when he___". Now, how would you fill in that blank? How would your spouse fill in that blank? As I judge a book by its cover, Pastor Ed might tell you that sex is the key. While that is important to a marriage, what might turn out to be the most underrated key to lasting intimacy is prayer. (Pastors you should definitely read this post by Brian Croft about praying with your spouse. It's where I took the comment I mentioned).

You want to try something that will increase your vulnerability? Want to really lay yourself bare and naked before the one to whom you have pledged to love and serve "till death do us part"? Want to increase intimacy and, hey, maybe even improve your sex life because you have an even greater connection and commitment to one another? Pray together.

Sure, you expect me to say that. I'm a pastor. I think you should pray. I'm also a gigantic hypocrite because that is one of the biggest weaknesses in my own marriage and I've made a commitment to destroy that weakness. Since that barrier to intimacy is on my mind, sure, I'm thinking a lot about how prayer can contribute to intimacy with my wife. Maybe it would help you, too.

Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, before our candlelight service, I’m listening to the BBC broadcast A Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols. It's stuff like this that really makes me want to be an Anglican.

From the Bidding Prayer:

And because this of all things would rejoice his heart, let us at this time remember in his name the poor and the helpless, the cold, the hungry and the oppressed; the sick in body and in mind and them that mourn; the lonely and the unloved; the aged and the little children; all who know not the Lord Jesus, or who love him not, or who by sin have grieved his heart of love.

Lastly let us remember before God all those who rejoice with us, but upon another shore and in a greater light, that multitude which no man can number, whose hope was in the Word made flesh, and with whom, in this Lord Jesus, we for evermore are one.

Service Sheet here
Via

Merry Christmas!